


jesse james

by brandywine421



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Daredevil (TV), Deadpool (Movieverse), Fantastic Four (Movies 2005-2007), Iron Fist (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, M/M, Team Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-30 06:37:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18310181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brandywine421/pseuds/brandywine421
Summary: "So, weird question - why did Marci ask for permission to ask you for a massage for her anniversary gift?"Matt doesn't look up from his tablet.  Fucking Marci."I mean, I guess there are a few questions involved like why would she need permission and when did you start giving massages - is that a thing that you do?""He gives amazing massages, God, he could get paid for those magic hands," Karen calls from the adjoining room."No comment," Matt mutters."Wait, no comment on what part?" Foggy demands.*Matt & Marci have a lost summer where she signs him up to give erotic massages on Craigslist for cash.  (This is not that story.)  He honestly doesn't consider running into old clients when he's working his new 'side job'.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It was this or a baby dragon. I needed to smile. :D
> 
> I thought I'd be done by midnight, will finish this tomorrow.

_i was born both a sinner and a saint_  
_I'm a calm car crash_  
_i'm like a stray bullet breaking some glass_

 

"So, weird question - why did Marci ask me for permission to ask you for a massage for her anniversary gift?" Foggy asks.

Matt doesn't look up from his tablet, still filtering yesterday's deposition through Karen's translated shorthand to his reader. Fuck Marci, best friend's wife status does not override mortal nemesis status.

"I mean, I guess there are a few questions involved like why would she need permission and when did you start giving massages - is that a thing that you do?"

" _He gives amazing massages, God, he could get paid for those magic hands_ ," Karen calls from the adjoining room.

"No comment," Matt mutters. "Do you think this guy seriously thinks anyone's going to believe him on the stand?"

"Back up, no comment on what part?" Foggy demands.

 

* * *

 

   
"Take the suit off," Daredevil says, taking the seat beside him on the Quinjet. Tony gives him a disbelieving look. "Seriously, let me lay hands on you."

That's - oddly familiar - too familiar - and suddenly Tony needs to take off his suit. He normally waits until he's back at HQ so he can shower before he makes the tabloids for being gross but allows himself to be sweaty with the weird second string superhero dropping riddles.

They have a lot of questions for Daredevil that Steve's rules don't allow them to ask but he forgets all about everything when the devil's fingers find the tension spot on his spine without hesitation.

"Wait - " Daredevil says before Tony can make a sound through his relieved hiss. He holds out a lollipop.

"Son of a bitch," Tony curses, snatching the candy and stripping out of his shirt fully, turning his back on him. "I haven't had a decent massage in years because of you."  Best Craigslist ad _ever_.

"Shut up and take your freebie," Daredevil snaps, flexing his hands. "Your suit drives my senses nuts."

He sucks the lollipop - cherry yum - and manages not to let out a moan when the massage starts in full. "Where did you disappear?  You were a college student, right?"

"Had a scholarship, just needed a little help with the rest. Once my nest egg got big enough to make me feel guilty, I had my friend cancel the ad and toss the phone," he says in that soothing voice that matches his soothing touch.

He thinks his eyes are going to roll back in his head and if it wasn't for the candy - well -

"Don't pass out, that would be even harder to explain. Look, Steve knows who I am and why I hate taking missions out of the city."

Blind guy probably needs to know his surroundings pretty well. "I can keep a secret."

"I'm _aware_. Maybe you can tweak the communicators so I don't have to keep taking them out?"

"Abso _fucking_ lutely if you keep - that spot _right_ there - "

Daredevil laughs softly.

"You got a name and a day job so I can drag you to Midtown and let you learn your way around?"

"I don't do subways or taxis pending my next mental health eval. Don't tell my shrink I have a thing with flying, either, the public transportation isn't a phobia - it's a perfectly _legitimate_ personal _preference_ ," Daredevil says.

"Sure."  Tony can agree with anything as long as he keeps rubbing that spot.

"Name's Matt. I'm a lawyer and your wife possibly invited my partner's wife, Marci, to your charity cocktail party next week. Maybe don't mention that you know her from driving me to and from massage appointments - my friend is giving me shit and I really don't want to throw her under the bus."

Tony laughs softly. "Thanks for the heads up, I probably would have harassed her about your number - seriously - who taught you how - "

" Ugh, when is my turn, Double D?" Clint groans from the doorway.

"Referral only and you don't have the cred," Daredevil replies without pausing in his palm-circles of magic.

 

* * *

 

   
" _Wait_ ," Daredevil says over the comm and everyone freezes. " _I think I know that guy_."

"Which guy?" Natasha growls.

" _I can't really point him out in the dark. The leader, with the fake scary voice._ "

"Don't say it, Barnes, be nice," Clint warns Bucky before he can call out the irony of the Devil's statement.

" _Give me a second,_ " Daredevil says, disappearing from position and the grid when he pops out his comm slash tracker.

"I thought you fixed that problem," Natasha directs at Tony who shrugs in his hovering suit. She doesn't know when or why the two of them became friends.

"Everybody stand down and let him do his thing," Steve says, but doesn't relax or stop scanning the darkness for sign of the assholes they've been chasing for days.

"Ten o'clock," Clint says and Natasha spots the Devil approaching the masked guy with the bow and arrow. "He turned the swagger up to eleven when Double D dropped down."

"Murder strut," she mutters just to get Barnes and Steve to glare at her. A blip of static and his comm and tracker flicker back to life.

_"Cap, these guys followed HYDRA all the way from Starling City, they've got some personal beef. They'll leave most of them alive for you."_

Steve sighs. "Copy that, Devil. Are you taking the lead?"

_"Nope, bringing - what's your name? I can't call you '_ screen door' _, that's not a very good vigilante name - "_

"I'll come to you," Steve cuts him off, swinging the shield to his back and dropping off the roof.

"Who signed this guy up again?" Natasha asks, narrowing her eyes as she watches the 'screen door' reach up and stroke the Devil's cheek with blatant intent.

"Stevie loves him," Bucky mutters with more than a hint of rage about it.

"Ugh, I'm never getting a referral, am I?" Clint groans.

"Nope," Tony laughs.

 

* * *

 

"Wait wait wait!" Foggy waves his hands wildly and Matt feels Marci's matching wince so it must look as damning to her as it 'looks' to him. "You're saying - on record - that you were broke enough to prostitute - "

"He wasn't doing sex for money, he was doing massages and I vetted all of his clients personally, his prices were outrageous," Marci interrupts.

"She's completely right. Any sex that was had was totally free of charge and consensual," Matt says.

"Wait, _what_?" Marci snaps.

"Ollie is 'Ab Goals', seriously - he's only gotten hotter with age," Matt says but Marci pinches him - ouch _hard_ \- and he shuts up.

"I can't even - I just cannot even. Marci, how could you?"

Marci sighs heavily and pinches him again for luck. "Daddy cut me off so I crashed on Matt's couch that summer - it was a shitty couch."

She's not lying. "I bought the best couch for her and got myself silk sheets, Foggy. I even had a massage therapy license."

"Sure, God forbid you get caught giving massages without a license, horrors."

 

* * *

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

  
_But you should know, I'm more of a river, than I'm a lake_  
_I'm rushing like a stampede escaping the fire_  
_I'm like the tongue behind the teeth of a liar_

  
"Thanks for sitting in, Daredevil, the Fantastic Four don't usually agree to meet since Tony's not allowed within 500 feet of Reed and then with Hope and the Pyms on the roster - it's a diplomatic challenge," Steve says when Matt settles into the conference room between Natasha, who continues to hate his guts for no reason, and Wanda who comes over for beers twice a week with Vision for 'Stitch & Bitch'.

He's knitting Natasha a scarf as a peace offering but he's not sure there's much he can do at this point. He's been an auxiliary Avenger for almost six months and he doesn't think he's fucked up too badly - in the field - his personal life is still a mixed bag - but she just does *not* like him.

"No problem, but I'm not sure what help I'll be," Matt replies.

"That's what I said," Natasha grumbles. Wanda giggles. Steve sighs. He adjusts the black mask over his face and wonders if he can ditch the scarf idea and make another blanket for Karen.

The Fantastic Four don't seem that _fantastic_ but the Thing isn't attending so Matt scales back his expectations after the handshakes. He'll make sure and exaggerate when he tells Foggy about it later.

"Captain, thanks again for meeting with us," Susan Storm says when everyone's seated. There's a muted 'ouch' and Reed echoes her thanks.

"Of course, we're all on the same side," Steve replies. "What can we help you guys with?"

"Do I know you?" Torch asks and Wanda kicks him to signal that he's talking to him. Wanda has been spending too much time with Foggy and Karen.

"Shut up, Johnny," Susan hisses.

"Seriously, I think I know him," Johnny whispers.

"Screen door situation?" Natasha asks under her breath and Matt glares at her but it bounces back.

"Wait - _never mind_. Nope, never met him," Johnny says with a flare of heat.  Shit, he remembers that flush - there's no other blush that hot.

"Astronaut," Matt realizes out loud. "I thought you were full of shit."

"I want your digits before this meeting ends," Johnny says.

"Called it," Natasha snickers.

Reed speaks up. "Since when do we have to worry about you sleeping with men?"

"Uh, since puberty?" Susan answers helpfully.

"Guys, can we focus?" Steve sighs.

 

* * *

 

"Aw hell, I know who we're chasing now," Clint groans when they walk into the bloody warehouse.

"Messy," Daredevil says as if that sums up the massacre. "I get life signs from the back."

Clint knows the devil has epic hearing and night vision but that's about the full extent of what he knows about the guy apart from his clever wit and talent for pissing off Natasha. He motions for the guy to go first and follows his path to avoid the bodies and stepping in blood.

"You said you know who did this?"

"Oh, katana wounds like that - "

The devil twitches. "Katanas? I don't have a good history with people that carry swords."

"Don't pull your fighting sticks out just yet, Double D - if it's who I think it is, we can probably make a deal over some Mexican food."

_"Oh, who's that out there speaking my language, Stranger Danger! Come talk to me about chimichangas and the tacos that love them and maybe I won't shoot you in the face!"_

Clint rolls his eyes at Deadpool's greeting but Daredevil freezes in place with a dark frown. "What is it?"

"Think about the silk sheets. New couch. That apartment with heat and AC. Remember the Alamo. So many regrets," Daredevil says, covering his face with his gloved hand. "Father forgive me for my sins so hard."

"Uh," Clint hesitates. "You okay?"

Daredevil grabs both his arms and shakes him. "Make better life choices than me, Hawkeye." He releases him and stalks into the back room.

"Wilson."

_"That's my name, please wear it out - ouch, your ass is so hot it's burning me down, babe - who are you?"_

"Wade."

_"Nope, try again - wait - that ass - OH MY GOD, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, my lumbar spine has been crying about you for almost a decade!"_

"Shut up, Wade, where's your arm, how do you only have one arm?"

" _I'm a grower not a shower, and you totally didn't answer me -_ "

Clint pulls out his phone to send Natasha an updated text on their 'screen door' investigation.

 

* * *

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

 _i am the best at it_  
_i am the one_  
_i am your checkmate_  
_by god i'm jesse james_

"It'll only take a second, I promised Ward I'd sign these papers before the end of the day," Danny says, skipping ahead to hold the door for Foggy to steer Matt into the glass building.

"As long as you don't put us in a taxi, you promised a sweet ride home," Foggy says.

"I know about Matt's whole 'thing' with cabs, I won't let you down - it'll just be a minute," Danny promises.

"I can hear you rolling your eyes, give the kid a break," Matt says when Danny's rabbit heartbeat's out of distance. "I thought you liked Danny."

"I do but Marci always gets passive aggressive text messages from Jeri whenever I'm seen in public with him," Foggy admits. "I'm under strict orders to make sure he doesn't like me more than J-Money."

Matt nods like that makes total sense.

Danny returns with his pulse turned up a notch. "What's wrong?" Matt asks immediately, scanning the office lobby.

"Ward wants to meet you, he's being extra weird," Danny replies.

"Haven't you met him already?" Foggy asks.

He has, but not in this suit. "Not officially."

"I'll make sure the limo has drinks?" Danny offers.

They follow him down a hall to a large office with open windows. "Ward, you know Foggy already and this is Matt Murdock, his partner."

"Oh, so not a Michael after all, that makes sense. It's been a long time," Ward says, shaking his hand with a familiar clutch of his hip with those thin rich boy fingers.

Fuck his life. "And you're not a Warren, I assume."

"Um, what's going on?" Danny asks.

Foggy smacks him on the back of the head and he remembers to let go of Ward's hand. "Yeah, _Matthew_ , tell us how you know Mr. Meachum? Did you know his sister, too?"

"Your wife didn't book him with ladies, she knew those hands were the opposite of birth control," Ward laughs. "I've been trying to get your number from her for years."

"Oh my God," Foggy and Danny say together. One of them takes out a phone and starts texting.

"I am feeling very attacked right now," Matt says blankly.

"So," Ward says, too close for comfort. "Can I get your number?"

Matt turns sharply. "I'm taking the bus home."

 

* * *

 

"Captain, can I have a word?" Daredevil asks, actually raising his hand. Natasha makes a face at Bucky since he's the only one that shares her suspicion of the constantly masked vigilante.

He's on borrowed time, she knows it but Steve leaves the training room with him and she makes her way to Thor and his visiting Asgardian 'shield-brother'. "I didn't catch your friend's name, Thor," she says, sizing up the bulky and overly hairy guest.

"Hagrid, not like the giant," Thor replies, pleased with himself.

She decides he's hiding something. "Sure. Have you visited Midgard before, Hagrid?"

Bucky whistles, tilting his head toward the door. "Steve's not happy. Yellow alert."

Steve walks in with Daredevil frowning after him. "Thor, I mean no disrespect but are you sure your friend's an Asgardian?" Daredevil crosses his arms to make it clear that the question's not Steve's.

"Of course, I would not mislead you in these times of unrest," Thor says. Natasha raises an eyebrow and Bucky huffs when he catches the lie.

Daredevil scowls. "I put my hand up on your hip, Asshole."

'Hagrid' raises a furry arm to his chest, full of sudden drama as he picks up, "When I dip - you dip we dip - "

"His name is Donald Blake and he's - " Daredevil flexes his hands. "Cold. He was a theater student - "

Thor turns to Hagrid. "You used my alias, Brother?"

Loki shrugs out of his glamour with dark eyes locked on the devil.

"I quit," Daredevil says, stomping out of the room with Steve on his heels.

Natasha yanks Loki to face her. "How do you know him?"

Loki flexes his hands in imitation of Daredevil. "I purchased his services as a healer. I believe your species call it 'erotic massage'."

Thor nods, thoughtful.

"He's very talented with his hands, probably due to his lack of sight," Loki says.

The penny drops and everything makes sense.

"Shit, Steve doesn't have a crush on Daredevil - " Bucky whispers.

"Because he's already dating that blind lawyer, _son of a bitch_ ," she hisses in agreement.

"Oh, he finished his education, pity. I was hoping to - " Loki starts.

"Put your hand up on his hip?" she snaps but the fond expression on his face denies her the effect she deserves.

 

* * *

  
Foggy knocks on Matt's office and actually waits for him to acknowledge him before stepping in. "Hey, so. Sorry."

"For?"

"Calling you out in front of Danny."

"And?"

"Making all your friends think you're a hooker."

"I'm not - "

"I'm saying sorry right now."

He sighs. "I'm sorry, too. It was an old secret, and it wasn't totally mine to tell since Marci and I had the whole blood oath."

"Which is one of the main reasons I'm apologizing. Any more old secrets I need to know about?"

Matt considers it, accidentally bumping the shield Steve left behind last night with his knee when he turns. "Define 'old'?"

"Forget it, I'm going to lunch."

**Author's Note:**

> Gah, I have such a weakness for cheesy pop songs. Title and chapter tags belong to Kai Straw.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _I totally want to dedicate some brainspace to the Marci & Matt secret summer with Matt's adventures in massage *cough* therapy and Marci's adventures in 'pimping' *cough*. _
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for the kudos, guys! This was fun!


End file.
